From the Color Purple

The weight of unspoken words is heavier than any burden we carry. It is the weight of things left unsaid, of emotions buried deep, of truths hidden away in the dark corners of our minds. And as that weight grows, it begins to crush us, to suffocate us, until we are no longer able to speak, no longer able to express the things we need to say, the things that could free us from the prison of our own silence.

— Alice Walker, The Color Purple

Ironing Bored

I was considering the irony that it took a second stroke for the medical professionals to realize I had a first stroke. Initially I thought I was going crazy. 

I used to think that part of being crazy is not knowing that you're crazy, but now I realize, that would be so much easier than knowing you're crazy only just as the moments watching those thoughts become actions, and see it acted out...and then it's confirmed once again.

Worse, is only realizing after so many years just how and maybe why your sanity was actually insanity to everyone else. To look back at the wake of destruction of all that crazy and say

I hate being in my brain...I don't even know who I am so much, to myself or to others.

Sometimes the darkness arrives before the light has a chance to fully leave.