In this world, you're going to be offended, and you're going to offend. There's no dancing around that one, it's just what happens when you have someone who both thinks and feels, and we have a whole world of those.
Remove feeling from thinking, and you remove the heart.
Remove thinking from feeling, and you lose the head.
The body requires both to live.
As I have stated in the past, to truly Love requires everything of us regardless of how we feel. Love is often a conscious choice when it comes to our words and actions.
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov. 19:11)
If our motive is based simply in our own self preservation and to remain intact, we generally only notice that we have been offended. We respond defensively, often times aggressively, kind of like a cornered animal. It's not really an attack, as much as a fear response. However, as a result we skip the real issue entirely.
If, however, our motive lies in fostering the growth of our relationships, we will overlook being offended, and start to consider more the nature of the offense, and what the actual issue being presented is. Having been patient, we are then more able to respond in love, with grace.
The former achieves relational dissolution, and the latter resolution.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)
So, when you offend, ask how.
But when you are offended, ask why.
d(-_-)b
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You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.