A Hole Does Not Need to Be Filled with Dirt

If I am an A hole, it's most often because I feel I have been left with no other option, if ever I'm not it is only by the grace of God.

Over the years I have learned how to reel that in, so whether I act on it or not, know that it is almost always my default mode of thought.

Don't believe it?
Push me beyond action into reaction.

I have often been dismissed as a lost cause for being so, however unintentional. It sucks. So I also have a high tolerance for those who share my affliction and rarely do I write anyone off for being so as well. But that's about to change soon enough. 

 The Rules

I like diversity it can be a great asset and I don't at all mind disagreement when it can be expressed in a manner that is constructive rather than destructive.

There are many, including me, that cannot at times make the distinction between the two, and so here we are.

There are a good number people in my life with whom I have less rather than more in common with. I feel blessed that they allow me to test their patience, and frustrated when they test each other's.

If we are corresponding in a public setting, and I am the only  common link between you and someone else, it would be safer to assume in your methods and means of communication that you have probably have even less in common with each other than I might have with either one of you. Don't be afraid to say whatever it is you have to say, but please keep this in mind when saying it.

In the exchanges between people that may not know each other except by me, I would ask you to listen beyond the words for the perspective each of the other. After having done so, consider it all the more before responding.

The perception of our motives can obscure our message to the point of alienating our audience completely. What is  heard is may not be at all what is being said, and therein lies the art of (and need for) listening to the heart of another and responding from our own hearts.

I learn a good deal from my friends who are most often articulate, educated, well informed and sincerely well intentioned in their efforts to enlighten others. That said public exchanges are exactly that, public, and the worldviews of the other parties who may be viewing (if not participating) should be considered when a public response is made.

I believe that everyone has a relationship to God, though many of the people that I know would not dare to identify themselves to be what they have come to know as "christian".

As is true with all relationships each rarely looks the same as another especially considering that not all relationships are the same in nature either. They are relationships nonetheless. Consider it then your obligation to build bridges and not walls in your communications.

Given the passion of some on varying sides of any issue and the complacency of others there is bound to be offense at one point or another. This does not bother me.

If this is the case, everyone's best interests are served to consider the nature of the offense internally rather than the catalyst for it externally. If this can be done and we find within ourselves some ugliness we had not previously recognized, perhaps offense too has its place.

Always assume the best of others, until it can be proven beyond doubt that it may be otherwise. Anything less is judgment.

In remembering that you may not to serve  common masters, expect that the courtesy will not be returned. This will lessen a great deal of offense and misunderstanding, not to mention the later need to apologize for being a judgmental dick.

People rarely apologize, ever.
Don't expect it.
You be happier for doing so.

It is not at all important to establish who is right and who is wrong. If your are right be secure in knowing so. Anyone who knows so will not be the one who will have to prove it so through arrogance.

Blame is only ever constructive as a means for learning though it is more often used for shame and to coheres others with the hope that we might minimize our own shortcomings.

If you are wrong admit it.
If you are right, no one needs to cry uncle to prove it.

Where diplomacy dictates apologize.

Especially in matters of the heart, most answers must be found rather than given, in order to be understood and appreciated.

Let people find their answers.
Guide them to answers.
Insisting that yours is theirs is almost never the key to anyone accepting it as so.

Even if other people believe the same as you, no one has experienced what you have. There is value in that if it is used as an instrument of teaching rather than a weapon to defeat your opponent.

You have no opponents.
You may have an audience if you can mange to retain them.

You are usually your greatest enemy with the ability to inflict the most damage upon yourself.
Don't do it.

If you cannot make your case without stating your cause, people will generally question the validity of both.
Step carefully through that mine field.

If you can keep them separate both will be served.