The Adderall has worn off and this is the worst time of day. The point when I can't shut it off. Sleep is the best thing that could happen to me now, but try as I might it doesn't come. Just endless thoughts. It's why I write this blog.
This is the time of day when everything positive becomes negative. Progress becomes regress, success failure, and every singular small problem becomes a collective insurmountable problem. There seems to be no point and nothing I seem to do is enough for anyone, including and especially me, and I have to wonder what the point of all this is.
Sometimes people ask me during the day, lightly, if I've taken my medication and I give them a sideways glance. I know they have no idea so I try to let it go. But it hurts none the less.
This is when every demon comes out to play.
It is now that my faith alone sees me through, but this is the time of day that is the biggest reason I don't own a gun.
Morning will come, but not soon enough. If it doesn't, well that's ok too.
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You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.