Sometimes It's Easier to Love a Stranger

I'm tired...

I post a lot, and I'll keep blogging long after you get bored of reading. I don't write for you, I write for me. What you find here are parts of me, but not all of me. (Not many can endure that.) So don't mistake liking this, for liking me.

For me it's right now or write never. You'll know this is true by all the incomplete thoughts, leaps in logic, partial sentences, typos, revisions, and in my general disregard for any offense I may cause. Whatev...I should probably care more than I do about that.

Heck, I should care about a good number of other things too I suppose. But I don't...and decreasingly so as the years go by. I used to, but I'm not really sure why I did. It made sense once, I think.

Anyway, no one comments, (3 in the last month) and I get it. No one wants to put it all out there, I didn't either at first.

Sure, the lack of commentary can be a bit discouraging in one sense, but it's really somewhat liberating in another.

It's like the room is empty. No one is looking. So I'm dancing and singing my heart out while no one is looking, because I couldn't do either with an audience. I can just do my thing with no matter to me about how stupid I might look or feel if I knew someone actually saw me.

That's denial though...because to paraphrase Fat Boy Slim: I see you baby, checking my stats. What they tell me is that a lot of people (3,000 in the last month) read this. I'm not sure why anyone would care. I'm not really anyone whose thoughts are worthy of that sort of consideration. History has shown me this much, maybe history doesn't always have to repeat.

So yes, sometimes it really is easier to love a stranger.

They let you be yourself.
You let them be themselves.

In rare cases we each get to see that true self, that ugly self, in each other and for some reason that freedom doesn't end.

That's when strangers become friends, when you can dance and sing terribly, and feel like it's ok.

Solo Cristo Salva
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