The Last Three Years

Do you have any idea what a trust barrier it is knowing that for the past three years you let me believe things could be okay, when you for those three years dreamed of a happier life without me would be like?

I can't compete with an imaginary person or life you dreamed of for so long.

I can't compete with your lovers either. I'm no machine.

I have all the faults of a human who has for the entirety of our marriage known that I had to fight to keep you.

Eventually I got frustrated with that fight because I felt like you weren't on my side. I thought we were fighting together for a long time, but now I see I was the alone in that.

I guess I've changed too late, but I had no hand in knowing when or even that I would change.

I guess you didn't either or you wouldn't have been making so many plans.

I'm flattered that you chose to foresake a life you've dreamed of for so long, but I clearly see that while you don't want to be the one to be seen as less than for initialing it, you clearly don't want to be with me.