Here they come again...and here I go.
by Roberto Esponja on Wednesday, June 8, 2011 at 3:03am ·
Well,
I've been thinking a lot about offending and being offended lately. It
does seem like a lot of people (Christians and not so muchers) are
awfully offended these days, and easily so....
...and that's as far as I got in my offending and being offended thought process when it came to my attention that, there are people, who think that all this crap I write might be about them. Although I think I've been pretty clear, that this is simply me working my own thought processes out. I'm not out to teach, or tell anyone else about how they should live their life, just what I'm finding true through living my own. (In Christian speak, bearing witness)
I suppose their being offended really only underscores the need for me to process through this whole subject and possibly follow through on writing it unlike so many of the other thoughts I never seem to complete.
But...I digress...these people seem to be suggesting one (or maybe both) of two things:
1) These people think I'm a bigger dick than even I do. (and I always try to give myself full credit on that count)
and/or
2) They think so little of me, as to suggest that rather than confront them personally, I would waste hours on generating clever (OK maybe not so clever) prose, so as to mask some sort of passive aggressive vengeance on them.
Either way, I come out on the losing end of that deal.
Well, let me put to rest any sort of concern(s) that anyone may have...although you are all very important to me, (yes including those of you whom I will soon be unfriending, if you don't stop your stupidity) you will usually know just where you are with me. I have an expression about myself," I wasn't trying to be offensive, in fact, it really came as no effort at all." If you're ever unsure, just ask. But I'll tell you, so be ready for the answer.
So, if you have to ponder whether any of the stuff I write might be about you, then it's not, because those folks who have played a part in me coming to some of my conclusions aren't pondering anything at all. They know exactly what I'm refering to when they read it, if they are using any portion of that 10% upstairs, for something more than a counter balance. But let me say again, this stuff isn't actually about anyone, except me that is.
So here's my advice on that:
- If you think I'm wrong or have a differeing point of view you want to share, please enlighten me. There's a comment box, use it.
- If anyone finds what I'm writing to be offensive, stop reading it. Maybe you could even go one step further and actually talk to me, (instead of about me) and let's figure out what's got you so offended. You might find it's not worth getting worked up about.
In this world, you're going to be offended, and you're going to offend. There's no dancing around that one, it's just what happens when you have someone who both thinks and feels, and we have a whole world of those.
Remove feeling from thinking, and you remove the heart.
Remove thinking from feeling, and you lose the head.
You need both to live.
As I have stated in the past, to truely Love requires everything of us regardless of how we feel. Love is often a conscious choice when it comes to our words and actions.
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov. 19:11)
If our motive is simply in our own self preservation and to remain intact, we generally only notice that we have been offended. We respond defensively, often times aggressivley, kind of like a cornered animal. It's not really an attack, as much as a fear response. However, as a result we skip the real issue entirely.
If, however, our motive lies in fostering the growth of our relationships, we will overlook being offended, and start to consider more the nature of the offense, and what the actual issue being presented is. Having been patient, we are then more able to respond in love, with grace.
The former achieves relational dissolution, and the latter resolution.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)
So, when you offend, ask how, and when you are offended, ask why.
d(-_-)b
...and that's as far as I got in my offending and being offended thought process when it came to my attention that, there are people, who think that all this crap I write might be about them. Although I think I've been pretty clear, that this is simply me working my own thought processes out. I'm not out to teach, or tell anyone else about how they should live their life, just what I'm finding true through living my own. (In Christian speak, bearing witness)
I suppose their being offended really only underscores the need for me to process through this whole subject and possibly follow through on writing it unlike so many of the other thoughts I never seem to complete.
But...I digress...these people seem to be suggesting one (or maybe both) of two things:
1) These people think I'm a bigger dick than even I do. (and I always try to give myself full credit on that count)
and/or
2) They think so little of me, as to suggest that rather than confront them personally, I would waste hours on generating clever (OK maybe not so clever) prose, so as to mask some sort of passive aggressive vengeance on them.
Either way, I come out on the losing end of that deal.
Well, let me put to rest any sort of concern(s) that anyone may have...although you are all very important to me, (yes including those of you whom I will soon be unfriending, if you don't stop your stupidity) you will usually know just where you are with me. I have an expression about myself," I wasn't trying to be offensive, in fact, it really came as no effort at all." If you're ever unsure, just ask. But I'll tell you, so be ready for the answer.
So, if you have to ponder whether any of the stuff I write might be about you, then it's not, because those folks who have played a part in me coming to some of my conclusions aren't pondering anything at all. They know exactly what I'm refering to when they read it, if they are using any portion of that 10% upstairs, for something more than a counter balance. But let me say again, this stuff isn't actually about anyone, except me that is.
So here's my advice on that:
- If you think I'm wrong or have a differeing point of view you want to share, please enlighten me. There's a comment box, use it.
- If anyone finds what I'm writing to be offensive, stop reading it. Maybe you could even go one step further and actually talk to me, (instead of about me) and let's figure out what's got you so offended. You might find it's not worth getting worked up about.
In this world, you're going to be offended, and you're going to offend. There's no dancing around that one, it's just what happens when you have someone who both thinks and feels, and we have a whole world of those.
Remove feeling from thinking, and you remove the heart.
Remove thinking from feeling, and you lose the head.
You need both to live.
As I have stated in the past, to truely Love requires everything of us regardless of how we feel. Love is often a conscious choice when it comes to our words and actions.
A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov. 19:11)
If our motive is simply in our own self preservation and to remain intact, we generally only notice that we have been offended. We respond defensively, often times aggressivley, kind of like a cornered animal. It's not really an attack, as much as a fear response. However, as a result we skip the real issue entirely.
If, however, our motive lies in fostering the growth of our relationships, we will overlook being offended, and start to consider more the nature of the offense, and what the actual issue being presented is. Having been patient, we are then more able to respond in love, with grace.
The former achieves relational dissolution, and the latter resolution.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)
So, when you offend, ask how, and when you are offended, ask why.
d(-_-)b
Ron Groth Thanks. I read it twice and am going to think about it and come back later and read it again. There's a lot here to chew over.
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You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.