Me? Mmm...probably something along the lines of:
You people aren't making this very easy for me.
Let's try this again. This time I'll ask that you actually read my word.
No skimming, no selective memorization and NO interpretations, just READ it, and live it.
Please...for the love of God, would you please just do that?!
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You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.