Whatever a.k.a. About Me

Men change minds, God changes hearts, I'm really not trying to do either.

THINK

One of my favorite quotes is from a movie called Junebug and it is this: God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way. I like to believe that's true, as I'm sure most would, but the difficult part comes when we seem to struggle so intently to preserve life as we've always known it in exchange of pursuing life as it should be or the illusion we convince ourselves of that one is able to have both .

In short, we seem to want God to love us as we are, and then leave us alone. I don't think we can have it both ways, and I can't find support for that concept anywhere in the Bible either.

This blog is simply therapy for the thoughts that won't leave my head.
A place for them to go so I can do something besides focus on them.
A way to finally get some sleep before I have to do it all over again tomorrow.
It is simply a means toward clarity for me.

Some posts are a mere word, or a list, or a graphic, but some of them are very long and serious.
There is something for everyone to hate here.
If you thrive on criticism, you've found an easy target here.
That is in part the point, transparency.

It will be serious, or humorous at times but whatever it is, it will always be introspective and honest... and painfully so. It's not an easy thing for me to let you all in and expose my many flaws, so in commenting please approach it as though you were read my personal journal...without my expressed permission.

Often people assume the worst of the motives of others and their situations without knowing the reality of them.They find it easier to attack than to understand and offer clarity, especially among those who have an agenda they do not see as their own.
So please be nice or be gone... and if you can't be nice, you'd better be smart.

There will be foul language, as I take no offense to it generally. There may humor that you find offends your senses as well. Unless you can give me some sort of revelation about changing, don't even bother expressing your distaste for it. I don't really care.

While we may not always find what we are looking for, it is rare that we find what we are not looking for either. So, while it will never be my aim to offend, I'm certainly not adverse to it either. Often people take offense where none is offered. It has been my experience that people will read in much the style which they tend to listen. Not accepting so much simply what is said as it is said, but through the lens of their limited understanding by virtue of their experiences and preformed biases. Hey, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't do that too, but it rarely serves either party justice.

If you find yourself offended at times (and you will), perhaps in a certain way you should be. But I have found it is not usually for the reasons that you will be. Consider not that you have been offended rather search your heart for the root of your offense. You may find your offense based in some part of you you never knew existed. If you are brave enough to face and change some good then has come of it. Then offense too may have it's place in your growth, and I'm not at all worried about it.

I believe that success or failure is determined by the measure of it. We do not know the end, and so who is to say what is in the end either success or failure? Experiencing the appearance of failure by the standards of this world is to be expected if we are striving for success by the standards of the next. In the end the best we can do is to serve God, praying for His mercy and grace, as inevitably we will fall short.

I have seen that in many cases those who are called and serve faithfully often bear the surface appearance of worldly failure while the roots of success are far found far beneath the surface at the root, and out of view. If you're doing it right don't be surprised when you fail. Failure then is not a choice at all, because it is often mandatory in achieving a far greater success.

History has shown that what anyone may experience or think has also been experienced and thought by countless others as well. My hope is to experience the level of healing that comes only by this level of honesty, and in sharing encourage others to do the same. Glory be to God.

I am a sheep among sheep, and so it is reflected in the nature of my writing.
Nothing is fictional, that isn't clearly fictional.
If I say that something happened it's because it actually happened.
This is me, this is my story.
Though you may see yourself within my writing, you flatter yourself to believe that anything here is about you... and if you do think so saying this much won't convince you either.

Failure in the Victory Garden is entirely and selfishly mine, and was never meant to be anything more, but I take the risk of sharing it with you. The name reflects my general sense of who I am, and who I have been perceived to be within the institution and by the leadership of the churches I have attended, and so I have resigned myself to remaining outside of its walls evermore, barring some act of God difrecting me to do otherwise.

Thinking and rethinking, it's what I do because I believe that Christianity is a process not a product.
That is the process I am in, and I am not yet complete.
I don't imagine that I ever will be.
To that end...

Do not confuse how you feel about this blog as being how you may actually feel about me.
You probably don't even know me.
There is a very lengthy thought process that usually occurs before I finally post the end result here and the first post is rarely the final post.

As anyone who has had the displeasure of enduring the relentless process that occurs beforehand can tell you, being here is much more pleasant than actually getting here.
I am the sort of person that is more easily endured in small doses, and so here are small doses for your enjoyment.
If you find you get something out of these posts, you can thank the people that are forced to deal with me daily, one on one for having gotten me here.

If you find there is nothing to be gained here, well, send me the link to your blog. I clearly have something to learn from you.

For me it's right now, or write never.
So excuse the typos, and there are many, as my fingers struggle to keep up with my thoughts.

More of a couch than a class room, this is assault and light from the ADD mind.

Enjoy, or don't...whatever. d(-_-)b