The Object of Your Affections

I couldn't say for sure, but once in a while, it doesn't seem like it would be so bad to be objectified by someone.

Sweet Dreams Lover

She's the sort of girl that will make you tell her how much you love her, while she tears your heart out of your chest in front of everyone, just to watch it beat once or twice before leaving you for dead.

The kind of seductive unattainable beauty who walks the line between flirting and foreplay when you see each other, privately and publicly & then doesn't know why you're so confused and frustrated when she tells you she just wants to be friends, but never stops her games.

She whispers in your ear that you that you have a future with her if you could just commit, and though you knows she's probably lying, you believe her because you want to. So you fuck up all your other relationships to take her up on her promise.

All the while, everyone watches you together, never saying a word. Oh, they know who she is, and what she does, and  with a pretty fair idea of how your relationship will go, they let you go on because who could stop you? So they smile and give you the thumbs up as you walk by... hoping.

Right now you feel wonderful.
This beautiful bitch for some reason seems to want you.

Until one night, when you find a note on your pillow that she's changed her mind. She's made mistake.
She's left you for another, much uglier and unworthy asshole. 

Sweet dreams lover...

Yours Never,
Music

Release

I let go of the thoughts that kept me up at night and now I sleep on my left side.

Give and Take

Sometimes you take what you get.
Sometimes you get what you take.
db

Noise Pollution

White Noise Generator: TED Talks, Yoga Prices, Burning Man, iPhones, Facebook Memes, Indie Breweries, Obscure Bands, Beards, Tattoos, Politics, Movies, Television, Bands, Fashion...

Neck Down

If you have only strength you will hide your weakness when showing them could have increased your strength exponentially.

What Success Looks Like

I don't imagine that anyone at the time looked at Jesus hanging on the cross with admiration or envy as they congratulated him on his success.

Solo Cristo Salva

50 Shades of Beige

I think that's what I'd call my book...
50 Shades of Beige: What Everyone Except Me Already Knew

It would probably be a compilation of all the bullshit advice I've given people and how I came to learn it over and over again, but differently each time.

Maybe one of the chapters would be:

"You'll Never Make Anyone Happy"
(That's how it was recently put to me so succinctly by a friend of mine and they were absolutely correct.)

It might be outlined like this:

You ARE responsible for your own happiness.

You are NOT responsible for anyone else's happiness.

You ARE responsible for your actions.

You are NOT responsible for anyone else's.

Why carrying the burden of someone else's happiness is unfair to you.

How carrying the burden of someone else's happiness is unfair to them.

The freedom of failing and then giving up.

Yep.

I think that would pretty much cover the major points, but there would be a great deal of material in each of those points.

None of which will I afford you here.

But here's the chapter summary:

If you want to find yourself becoming something you never imagined you could and you want the people around you to treat you the way you never thought they would, live you're life and make every decision like you're the one that can make them happy. Then have the expectation that they are doing the same for you as intensely as you are.
Know that they also believe that they are the ones that will make you happy, as though they would, could or were at all as concerned about it as you.

This I have learned, is a certain way to find yourself in a really fucked place, a really fucked up person, and surrounded by other fucked up people.

And ALL of it will fall back on you at some point.

This is something that everyone already knows and will learn over and over again if they're anything like me and that's why it would be in my book.

Of course, this is only one way of many to fail, and I have a whole blog right here with many others if you're looking. All of them based on personal experience.

But failing doesn't make you a failure.
That's what I tell myself anyway.

That said, if you aren't actually looking for ways to fail, in this particular case, simply unload the undue burden.

Carry and own your shit and yours alone, and let / make others do the same.

You'll all be better for it and who knows the situation just might be reversible, but who really knows...

Solo Cristo Salva
db

Own It

Original Status: Often times, those most certain of their sanity, are generally those least qualified to claim it.

Translation: Spend enough time surrounded by the insane and you will eventually come to question your own sanity.

Resolve: That you are still able to question your sanity, should indicate that you are not too far removed to retain it.

Hang in there...

Try To Hang In There

Sometimes in life we are so consumed with overwhelming feeling about someone or something and we are certain it will always be the case.

We can't imagine not feeling that way forever or what life would be like if we were not to have the current object of our affections at the center of our affections.

Until one day you realize how unhealthy your life has become as a result, and your love has becomes your leash.

Becoming more and more resigned to your fate, you wake up one day, something has changed within and suddenly you realize what you already knew... that you actually have a choice in the matter if you take it, and in that moment if not soon thereafter, those feelings are gone.

You can recall them but they are vague and fading fast, and before you even realize it, you can breath again.

Brace yourself though, as no master gives up his servant without a chase.

150 Going Twice

As you sew you shall rip

Hoping for a crop to grow naturally is a sure way to starve.

We were not born of our own free will

Over the past few years I've come to conclude that guilt and obligation are burdens that we carry by our own consent and nothing else.

This morning I was thinking about that a little more and I wondered if obligation can be something that we should carry because of things to which we had no choice but find ourselves simply being.

For example do we have an obligation to other humans simply by virtue of the fact that we are humans something which we had no choice in being?

Beauty is in the Eye of the Creator

What is a real man?

What is real art?

Who can truly say?

I know of 66 books that show us real men, and not many of them are  good.

It's not hard to be a real man.

The bigger challenge is in being a good man.

Those are rare in deed.

Volume and Velocity

If we believe that suicide is a sin then we need to ask ourselves, "What is suicide?"

Sometimes suicide is a trip to the convenience mart, or bite at a burger joint.

Sometimes suicide is a cigarette, or the obligation to finish that drink or meal.

Sometimes suicide is just unnecessary risk, hasty decisions or flippant regard for consequence.

Sometimes suicide is a slow bullet called love, or quitting your dreams.

Suicide is any decision made in a moment of time because we've lost sight of even the possibility of hope for all moments of time.

It is easy for the living to judge the actions of the dead.
To condemn the person who in a single moment pulled the trigger takes no real efforts, sacrifice or empathy.

It is difficult for the living to refrain from judging the actions of the living.
Not to condemn the person who, in every moment pulls the trigger takes real effort, sacrifice & empathy.

We are all sinners none of us more or less deserving of either mercy or judgement, Heaven or Hell.

Think about it as though something very big depends on it... because it does.

Solo Cristo Salva
db

10-24-13 Thoughts

Do Lawyers believe in free will?

Once you begin dialating are you contractually obligated to your Obstetrician?

I've never heard of a trash collector getting canned, must be great job security! 

Most accidents involving drills happen when people become bored.

Open the Door, See all the People

What if we became the church instead of going to church?

El Bow Gris

It's damn hard work to be friends with me, I know. Consequently however, I've just realized, I know a lot of people who don't seem to mind a little hard work.

10-24-09 Let's Start A Fire

Let’s start a fire

Let’s start a fire in the desert. Let’s make it big. Let’s drink, and sing and forget about this big bad world for just one night.

You can play guitar and I will bring a drum, while the rest of them just dance.

Let’s party like Christ himself was right there with us, in the flesh. There must have been those nights for him and his boys. A night to let loose. A night not to care. Just one night, and it would end with moment of clarity and peace.

Tired and content, we would watch the sun come up as the fire smouldered, and we might not say a word as we cleaned up, but we would always have that one secret night that would bond us, even if we never saw each other again. The one night we would remember forever, and think of whenever we heard mention of the other, and smile.

As we drove home we we would know, not just in our heads but with every ounce of our being, that we are not alone in our struggles,  That others saw in us the potential we had never seen in ourselves. That we could be free if we only chose to be. That we are loved as we are, and that we are capable of loving.

That no matter how it feels at times, we are in fact moving in the right direction and it’s all worth it, no matter how difficult it is or how it turns out, because it’s not about arriving, it’s about the journey.

Renewed, we would be overwhelmingly happy to come home and hug the ones we love like it was the first time all over again.

Let’s start a fire…for the rest of our lives.

d(-_-)b

And Also With You

It is greater to lead a life of failure in pursuing God than to lead a life of success in failing to pursue him. Knowing that failure is not defeat, and success is not victory, may you fail many times. d(-_-)b

To Be Ore Not To Be

I'd have to imagine that purchasing mining rights could be quite an ore-deal.

In Tolerance

It's a curious thing to consider, when I look back over the years those things in life to which my tolerance has changed and which things have had a changed tolerance toward me.

Do All Things Without Bitching

Tell me only what you are for and I will know what you are against. Tell me only what you are against and that is all I will know of you.

Isn't it cute?

Is not it cute?

You'd never say that without using the contraction.

Why?

Ironically

There's no I in sty.

Knife the Mac

They say that when God closes doors he open windows... which is why I don't use Apple products.
db

Thieves And Liars

Treat everyone with the respect that anyone speaking the truth with integrity deserves, and you will find anyone lacking in either is quickly revealed.

1 Week 1 Day 150 mg

A week ago from yesterday I discovered that I might just be immortal.

Sorry for those of you who are stuck with me.

The Majestic Bull (Pt 2)

Something within me has snapped.
I'm not sure if it has snapped out of place or back into place.
I suppose only time will tell which is the case.

The Short Story

Allow me to be who I am to and I will allow you to be who you are.
If that is enough for us to have relationship worthy of pursuit, all the better.
If it is not, then so be it and without regret on either end.
Time for both of us is far too short for chasing shadows.

You Say Hello

If I lost you at hello, perhaps I'll find you at goodbye.

On This Day In History

THIS is one truth, I have recently come to realize is at the root of, and the driving force behind, most, if not every single one, of my relationship problems.

It is a point that has been driven home to me recently. A revelation which I believe will affect my behavior and action going forward.

Perhaps things will even get better...

The Case of the Ebb and Flow

Wrote this after a CA vacation.
The year and date are in there.
Haven't taken a vacation in well over a decade.
Maybe that'll change.
For now here's a great memory I think I really need to recapture and soon.

Free Will

If we are the choices we make, it is only among those we are given.

Which End is the Business End?

If I am the means to an end, I can also be the end to the means.

Stick a Fork In Me

Everyday Ends in Why

Not begging for what should be given willingly.
Not taking what should be shared mutually.

Solitaire

That's the name of the game.
Fucking Solitaire.
How much more obvious did it have to be before I realized that?

I don't miss who I was
I won't miss who I am
I'll be glad when they're both gone

Good & Well

There are times that I feel like I'm doing good, and times that I feel I'm doing well and occasionally there are times that I feel I'm doing good and doing it well.

Booo!

Q) Why could the karate student not laugh?

A) He didn't have a sensei humor.

Boo!

Q) What did the mother bird say when her babies complained about dinner?

A) I'm sorry I even brought it up...

Power of de Nile

Never underestimate the power of denial, for the greatest lies we tell are those we tell ourselves. d(-_-)b

Constrictive Criticism

If we cannot embrace the constructive criticisms of those who are for us now, how should we expect to weather far greater attacks from those who are against us later?  For as steel sharpens steel, one man sharpens another. d(-_-)b

Fugit

I'm really just about on the edge of not caring about jack anymore, whatever.

Let the world and everyone in it have its way.

Give them what they're asking for.
I'll be dead soon enough.

The Hear and Now

Some may actually like what they hear, but most will simply hear what they like.

I am only responsible for what I say, not what you hear.

db

Absolute Zero, Absolute Hero

There is this ever changing standard of rationalization that I hear people refer to often. The standard of "better than" and "worse than" in contrast to others. It's a dangerously slippery slope to travel. One that leads to unwarranted and unmerited content or discontent. Whatever it leaves us feeling it is fleeting at best and based only in our own imaginations. Our standards should be based in absolutes that can provide us with either a mark to know when we have arrived or a measure of how much further we have to go. Aim higher. Be better. d(-_-)b

Don't Be A Dick

Although the two are often confused, there are vast differences between judgment and discernment. Especially regarding public exchanges, as I see it, insults are the first line of defense for the ignorant, and hatred a deflection by those who live in fear of facing in themselves what they point out in others. While being polite & articulate alone, will not make your case, it can make others more willing to atleast try to understand it. For those whom this status may prove to be "too cerebral", I will use shorter words...being a dick is simply not a convincing argument. d(-_-)b

Don't! Stop believing!

Don't believe everything you've been told.
Don't believe you've been told everything.

History Always Repeats

No one's historical documentary will be incomplete because you enjoyed the moment rather than documenting it.

N or V

Sock hops
Cinnamon rolls
Rootbeer floats
Kitchen sinks

Hardly Ever Heard

Perhaps one day you will be sitting down, on a beautiful sunny day, preparing to eat lunch.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

At a certain distance the reach of only one arm's length does not suffice. db

In Accuracies

If you're not all that particular about results and you want to save a couple of bucks, you should check out inaccupuncture. db

Wars Can be Driven

I recently learned that over the past 35 years cars have killed more people than the combined total deaths of all the wars over the past 300 years...which makes me think we've been going about this war thing entirely the wrong way. d(-_-)b

Tired and Awake

Think what you will
You cannot be still
Not even for a minute
What burns will burn
The world still turns
And we are turning with it
-db