The House of Bricks

Sometimes we must be the people we're made to be rather than the people we simply are, in order to avoid further damage.

Observations of the American Jesus

I am the god of the American "christian".

I am America found in the balancing point,

created in the hearts of you who will not choose, bound by fear.

I am the common religion.

You worship at my altars morning, noon and night.

If you ever awakened from your american dreams,

you would need only open your eyes to see my presence

deeply rooted and intertwined within your lives.

Like a cancer, you dare not remove, I will kill you.

Do not confuse me with actual Jesus,

for I am the substitute that you have created and chosen over him.

I am not the Jesus you profess in polite conversations,

or the one talked about in the bible.

I am rather, the Jesus our culture shows me to be in practice.

You love me, because you first loved yourself.

I am not concerned with principals for living, 

for I work in the practicalities of life.

Yes, I am the Jesus you will find lurking just under the surface of good intentions.

I am the underlying motive.

I will wait out your convictions borne of guilt.

I will show you their folly and increase their burden,

and when you grow tired of them, I will offer relief, 

and remove their purpose from your memories.

I can be found among the religious,

the congregations,

and among your leaders,

but I am not biblical Jesus.

I am the $5 cup of coffee

in a world that dies from lack of water.

I am gluttony in a starving world.

Yes, I am the Jesus of prosperity and comfortable living.

The Jesus of self-gratification and qualifiers.

I am the Jesus of personal and political agendas.

I am the Jesus of big business and bottom lines, of profits over people.

I am everywhere....

and I am not concerned about being hidden

except to those who would look,

but in fear of facing themselves, very few dare to.

Yes, I am the American Jesus...

              …the one that people who don't know biblical Jesus experience everyday.

I am not a servant, 

neither am I humble or meek, 

I am loud and self serving.

You do not choose to see me,

but I am seen and heard quite clearly 

by those who do not pretend to fear.

It is the memory of me that will last far beyond that of actual Jesus for most...

American Jesus…

the one that people will recall most vividly,

for I am their last impression, 

their most recent interaction.

I am the idle chatter, 

the gossip, 

the slander.

I am the latest headline.

Should anyone dare to recall the biblical Jesus,

it is my bitter memory that will stop them from seeking him further.

I am the Jesus of fictional literature, and well written movies.

I am the distraction. 

I will not bore you, 

I will entertain you.

And when you cannot recall his teachings, 

you may use mine instead.

I am the Jesus that chooses the path of least resistance.

I preach equality, but choose prosperity.

I proclaims to have faith, but chooses security.

I am the magical granter of wishes, for whatever your heart desires.

I will put you on the guest list, and get you in the club.

I will give you elite and intellectual social circles, 

so you can flatter yourselves, by trading wisdom with knowledge.

I will provide for you the keys to success, 

instant integrity, and a built in client base...

             ...and for all of this, you need only mention my name in passing.

Neither repentance, forgiveness, or sacrifice do I ask you to extend,

except that it may further your own cause,

and I will not frighten you by speaking of hell,

except as a place for those that you can not pardon.

Your neighbors, your enemies,

anyone who may infringe upon your rights, your comforts and your feelings.

For I am not grace and mercy, I am justice and revenge.

I will justify your hate, as you speak of love.

I will tell you that all truth is subjective, all views are valid,

and all paths lead to God, but that yours alone is correct.

I will endorse the assertions of your bias and opinions as truth,

you need only attribute them to me.

I allow you to judge while condemning judgment.

I will allow you to lie, cheat, steal, and exploit the hardships of others, 

whatever benefits you,

while at the same time allowing you to be shocked and amazed 

when others do the same.

Yes, I am the American Jesus...

you passively protest my presence,

on blogs and Facebook notes, in the lives of others, 

...and yet the thought of a life without me will strike a deep unshakeable, paralyzing fear.

I offer no conviction by imposing absolute standards in the matters of morals and ethics.

So, I will allow you to rest easy,

knowing that you are as good 

if not better than those around you,

and that is good enough.

I will tell you that you are wise, and self sufficient,

but lacking in the material objects that will bring you happiness and beauty.

I will turn your desires in to necessities,

and you will sacrifice your life and relationships to meet those needs.

But if you feel you are lacking or become discouraged,

I will remind you of your riches, 

by showing you pictures of people in far away places,

people who suffer so that you may prosper,

and I will ease your conscience when you give sparingly to their cause.

I will offer the security of salvation,

and will satisfy your pride by allowing you to earn it.

No, I am not biblical Jesus, I'm better,

for I require nothing and yet everything,

while offering everything and yet nothing.

I am the dream Jesus. 

The one that you wish existed,

the only one you desire enough to pursue.

I will tell you the lies you so wish to hear...

Make no mistake, for I am your real religion, 

and I will tell you that you can have it both ways.

I am the American Jesus, 

the one who's glory you seek foremost, 

for we are one.

Yes, I am the one whose will you fulfill...

                                                           ...for I am you.

d(-_-)b

No comments:

Post a Comment

You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.

Home

View web version

Powered by Blogger.

ConfiDense

A current lack of confidence can almost always be traced to some previous overconfidence.

-namasdave

Two Can Sam

You're never too old. 

It's never too late.

Both untrue, and when they are true, they are most often intertwined.

-namasdave

I Mist Again

I truly regret all the life I've missed while I was figuring out how to live.

It's True

People say I have a certain Gen X sais quoi.

What?

What is the sound of one hand washing?  

Yoda Pants

I hate it when girls wear yoga pants because I know I could never have that kind of self confidence.

Going The Distance

The distance between souls cannot be measured by the distance between bodies.

-namasdave

The End of the Beginning, the Beginning of the End

It's strange to think that I'm now the least I've ever been, and likely more than I'll ever be again. 

It is the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end.

 -namasdave

3s

There is a strength in silence that comes without solice.

Future Tense

I don't want to give up, but I do have to wonder if giving up would be more or less difficult than holding out hope.

I'm a fucking idiot and I'm sure time will prove me right.

Body and Soul

It's a difficult thing to wake up every morning and know more about what's not going to happen, than what will. To know you're not that guy anymore. To not know how to be or if you'll be ever again.

It's a difficult thing to wake up every morning and know that the one thing you need, the one thing you absolutely must do, is to talk yourself out of your own unwarranted optimism, and accept that what never was, will never be. A day long conversation with yourself that is had every single day. It is soul crushing.

It's a difficult thing to know that by most standards life is apparently great, and in most ways it is. But the distance between souls cannot be measured by the distance between bodies. It is not seen by the eyes, but by the heart.

It's difficult to keep hope alive, when there is no welcome discussion of emotional depth and no apparent change to indicate progress forward or otherwise. It is to be untouchable, and to crave touch all at once.

It is an easy thing however to use THC, vodka, and crime shows fill the gaps, to fill the silence and perpetuate it at the same time... the stillness, that is somehow to be counted as progress.

Imagination

Imagine you aren't allowed to express your feelings to the person closest to you.

Imagine going to bed next to the only one you've ever wanted, know that they don't want you.

Imagine knowing that you never again see that look in your lover's eye.

Imagine knowing you've lost that chance and that maybe that one miraculous day it returns, your too old, it's too late.

Imagine spending most of your life with someone, knowing they never truly let you in, so you don't really know them, not really.

Imagine knowing that to their mind you are the very source of their lifetime's worth of discontent and misery.

Imagine you aren't allowed to express your feelings to the person closest to you.

Imagine they, in all reality, they don't actually want to know.

As Far as Humans Go

Is it foolish to hope for the future, something has never been in the past? 

I mean only so far as humans go.

What I do, I do for me.

"What I do, I do for me." 

Someone once said that to me. 

At first I was shocked.

Then I considered what wisdom might be found in those words. 

I suppose for certain "healthy" people, this might be a train of thought well worth the pursuit.

If I'm honest, thinking back over the events of my life, I'm not sure if any of what I did was to be self motivated (beyond intrinsic survival instinct). 

I'm not honestly sure what I would have done that was constructive, if anything at all. 

I have always had responsibilities, real or imagined, physical or mental, someone else was depending on me to be or do something that I somehow thought was meaningful and so did gladly. Rarely was it truly meaningful in the way I thought it was supposed to be.

Whatever I might point to as self-motivated choices, were in hindsight the most self-destructive choices I've ever made.

I've only rarely experienced a moment a glimpse of myself as potentially being alright, fleeting moments, but they do exist.

I know that I am the result of grace and the people around me. That is entirely what has gotten me this far.

So, for now, (I will I try to at least) make more of what I do be more for me. I will try to treat myself the way I might treat even a stranger. 

It will never be an absolute, simply because it can never be.

View Askew

It seems contradictory to tell one's self they are worthy of love. Isn't he whole nature of loving and being loved contradictory to the notion of bestowing and receiving love based on ones worthiness?

Whenever I've been given this advice from my professional friends ( aka therapists) I just can't seem to fathom the concept of it.Yet I am told to repeat that mantra.

Why? 

I am only myself. If I am loved the assessment of my worthiness really has little to nothing to with it.

Am I wrong? Is my view askew? What am I missing here?

-namasdave

Speak My Language

What is there to do when the one you desire has made it clear they don't feel the same?

I suppose the best I can do is be myself and even if I knew what that meant, history has shown that is always too much, or not enough, whatever it is, it's not working and it never has.

To be spoken to in one's native language must be a lovely thing indeed.

Meme, Myself, and Aye

By my naivety or ignorance but never willingly, my greatest regret is that I've only ever been able to be myself, for I am both too much and not enough all at once, and I have been told outright on many an occasion. So that I am never in the position to be the person I am not (but would love to have been) and thus receive what I have always most desperately desire, in the moments I desire it most.

I feel bound to adhere to my long history of willingly choosing hopelessness over hope, in order to avoid facing the disappointment and result of who I feel I am in reality to those closest to me.

A word to the wise.... Avoid me, for I am not who you imagine me to be. I am far worse than you could possibly imagine, silently if not out loud.

I don't need to feel better, I just need to feel nothing. 

I don't know how else to cope.

-namasdave

Anti Matter

The more I tell myself it shouldn't matter, and it doesn't matter, the more I realize that deep down it really does matter, to me at least. What else can I say when in the grand scheme it's just me and my feelings that really don't matter. At least it doesn't seem to affect anything.

What I do, I do for myself.

That's what I was told.

So where am I in all of this?

To have a healthy appetite without me on the menu? 

To be declared unattractive.

To be told that I am the one because that's the only real option.

To be told perhaps I was never really attractive.

To know that simple mechanics can accomplish what I am not allowed or afforded.

So then, what am I anymore?

someone...

I need to believe that someone I believe in is someone that believes in me. That someone I love is in love with me, that someone I desire is someone that desires me... But alsas no, what I desire desires me least.

.