It's a difficult thing to wake up every morning and know that the one thing you need, the one thing you absolutely must do, is to talk yourself out of your own unwarranted optimism, and accept that what never was, will never be. A day long conversation with yourself that is had every single day. It is soul crushing.
It's a difficult thing to know that by most standards life is apparently great, and in most ways it is. But the distance between souls cannot be measured by the distance between bodies. It is not seen by the eyes, but by the heart.
It's difficult to keep hope alive, when there is no welcome discussion of emotional depth and no apparent change to indicate progress forward or otherwise. It is to be untouchable, and to crave touch all at once.
It is an easy thing however to use THC, vodka, and crime shows fill the gaps, to fill the silence and perpetuate it at the same time... the stillness, that is somehow to be counted as progress.
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You know you want to, so say it already...no one's going to be offended.