Putting a little shame in our game

In my experience, it seems that it has often been the practice, in the institution of religion to use guilt, shame and passive aggressive actions to manipulate others in to performing a will other than God's, and to meet a very different (although often cleverly masked) ungodly, undefined, and honestly unattainable standard, when offering assistance, if it is in deed truly offered at all.

Jesus met people where they were at, whatever their condition, and began the administering of transforming love. Sometimes in very difficult ways, but love none the less.


We are warned many times in the Bible about making our own position that of judge and jury, and the judgement we incur by doing so. I have also experienced it to be the case that many people will in fact manipulate the word of God for their own purpose, and then mask their judgement as concern.


As fellow recipients of divine grace and forgiveness (on a level which we will never understand, and could not have possibly earned in attaining any standard or measure of the law), when a situation is confessed to us, whether publicly, or confidentially, we are obligated to help in the ways that we are able, so that they may go and sin no more. Even if that "help" is only to listen to them and/or pray with them. Many times this has been all that I have been qualified to do, and God is always faithful to honor even that small effort. (I digress.)


When a person experiences, not an unhealthy shame, but rather the convicting shame of sin, as it relates in their offenses to God, this is enough to begin the healing process, and transformation can begin. Repentance will/should follow, and while that is enough for forgiveness, it is not always enough in overcoming the problem. It may be a lifetime of struggle, or perhaps (and hopefully) a much shorter time. Whatever the time span, it is always a process, perhaps to be repeated many times. 7 x 70, for we who are forgiven much should forgive much.


Perhaps our denial of Jesus, is as simple as refusing to extend His abundant grace. and not the just obvious verbal denial we all tend to think of.


Friends of mine recently noted that righteousness is inversely proportionate to self-righteousness. I agree, and for anyone to assume the role of the administrator of shame, is self-righteous. To my knowledge, it is not a liberty that Jesus, the One who had the justification and authority to do so, ever exercised in the healing process.


It seems to me that when others are shamed for their shortcomings and struggles, it is not unlike like the condemned publican, praying in the street, saying,"Thank you God that I am not like this person.".  In doing so the institution pushes people away, in a sense, if not actually, rejecting them.


Failing to comprehend the level of betrayal they have inflicted, they also fail to understand why there is so much mistrust of the institution and its leaders and why so many seem to be falling away.


I know that personally, when I have worked up the courage to be honest about my feelings in these same situations, even when the other party had asked me to do so, shame was once again returned. I was naive in thinking anything else would happen I suppose, but one hopes, and I would rather be naive and hurt  in giving them the benefit of the doubt, than to become calloused and jaded for failing to do so.


When this happens, (when shame is doled out in heaping doses) not only is one inclined to hide their offending sin, they may in fact delve deeper in to it, without the support they need...the support they should have received by virtue of their confession alone. 


They are also unlikely (or more realistically unable) to share with others God's glory when at last they do experience victory in overcoming...well, whatever the situation was, for fear of greater shame in not having done so earlier.


They are forced then, to suppress the very things that bear witness to God's glorious transforming love.


Shame on us.