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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Uniformity is not Conformity

Uniformity is not Conformity

by Roberto Esponja on Thursday, June 9, 2011 at 9:27pm ·
(From my blog http://phreshwater01.blogspot.com/)

Well, it would appear that I'm back to blogging again. It’s been quite a while I know, so allow me to explain.
Recently I've been on a journey of sorts, a kind of spiritual awakening if you will. (Using Fakebook as a source of sounding off and working through my own junk, which has proven to be a bad idea.) I have been reconsidering my positions on the institution of church, the nature of relationships, how I practice my faith, and the religion I seem to have been sucked in to on my quest for understanding our Creator.

After a few bad experience “milestones”, following a lifetime of them, I have decided that the institution of the church just isn't for me. Not now at least. God is certainly at liberty to change that if he so chooses.Along this journey, it seems my awakening is not only about God's truth and love, but also seems to include reconsidering my faith in people as anything more than simply people. Flawed and broken, just like me.

Now, I'm not saying the church is bad, or that you shouldn't go to church.(That’s your call and it’s between you and God to follow your own convictions.) In fact the church can be a wonderful venue for community connections with other like minded persons. A good deal of my growth has been through the experiences of church going; however it has been primarily through personal interactions, more so than any actual teachings.

Many of these relationships provided adversity and conflict through differing views and interpretations of scripture. Many of these people were people who's beliefs were sincere, and were in their own way (I suppose) just trying to "help" me. At least I would prefer to take that view now, rather than what I actually felt most often, which was that I was a threat to their way of thinking, acting out senselessly by rebelling for rebellion's sake, and therefore to be kept on the outskirts until needed. It is wise to consider, that one can be sincere and still be sincerely wrong, as this attitude, or motivation has never been the case.

I am not really a rebellious sort per se'. In fact, ask most of the people I know, and I'm pretty sure they will tell you that at the heart of it all I'm actually pretty reserved on a lot of things. I just, apparently, see things much differently than a lot of other folks who read the same book I do, and claim the the same savior I do.

It seems many of the folks who claimed to be praying for me, were in fact only preying on me, and many “well meaning” people were much more generous about doling out shame, rather than grace. I don’t believe Jesus I read about in the bible would have been down with that.

I believe that we are each created in God's image. That said however, we are also created very uniquely, and it is far more fruitful to embrace that God given individuality and be honest about who we are, than it is to simply deny who we are and where we've come from, in the hopes of gaining membership in to some sort of exclusive salvation pyramid scheme. Salvation comes through direct marketing, not pyramid schemes.

It seems to me, as I read through the bible, that God wants his followers to be honest about who they are and about their past, who’s every moment, has led to this one. In doing so we begin to understand the awesome power of his love and grace on a level the mere conformity for conformity's sake does not provide.

If we are uniform, let it be because we have the same savior, not because we fear some sort of eternal peril by virtue of nonconformity. My "nonconformity" has always been in the interest of seeking conformity to God's will as he reveals it to me, rather than blind acceptance. A concept many seemed hard pressed to understand, as they would rather be offended and remain unchanged, than to accept that there may be another valid view point and risk change.

Conformity through fear and mere obligation is slavery, but the conformity that comes through a loving obedience is freedom indeed! God's grace falls where it will, I am not to say what is fair and what is not, but I am bound to seek him for as long as I draw breath and live to see another day, and if I can't really be honest, well then I can't really be anything worth being.

Now don't hear what I'm not saying. Of course I would recommend using discretion when considering your audience. I would also be wary of glorifying my past sins in that honesty, for that is what I have been saved from and the opposite direction I am moving. But, in that honesty, be honest with yourself as well, and listen to those folks who may be more mature in their years and faith than you. You may find that you learn more than you thought you ever would. It is far better to run toward something than away from something.

The church is changing. God knows it has to or die. I am happy to say I have been a part of that change through music and my expression of thought, through the 80's and 90's. It has not been a road without consequence, nor do I expect that it will be in the future, but I will not stop because of that. It's just that, I now know that going in to it. I no longer expect that anyone should understand me, or even accept me. I know that people have been made in God's image and a lot of folks seem to returning the courtesy, by making him in to theirs. In doing so I am afraid the church in large part has left a wake of destruction behind it in the name of God, for which it will be held accountable.

So...I'm back to blogging again. I've pissed off enough people by using Fakebook notes as a sounding board. Apparently that is not the forum to do so.

(> piece out, d(-_-)b
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